Carry on Matron - life in a Canarian ward

The Canarians are very family orientated and they love babies. Which is all good, apart from if you are in a maternity ward.
I arrived on a three bed ward on the Saturday night, on the Sunday lunchtime another lady arrived that had just had her baby by caesarean. She had also had some problem with her back so was immobile and hooked up to all kinds of pain killers.
Now to me that lady would need peace and quiet with maybe just her fella and her immediate family to visit. But then I am not Canarian. To Canarians what she needed was 30 visitors in six hours. It was like the world record attempt at the most people around a hospital bed.
I think at the peak I counted ten people visiting her and she didn’t even know all of them. One chap had brought his cousin, his cousin’s children, the cat, pet hamster and maybe the hamster’s invisible friend too.
Mind you she didn’t seem so bothered so I can only assume she had the patience of a saint of very strong drugs in her drip.

And because everyone loves a baby they all come over and look at your baby so you then have thirty odd strangers poking your baby and asking you all the same questions.
“yes it is our first”
“born on Saturday”
“her name is Baby C”
“yes she does have big eyes”
“gracias gracias”
“no thanks I wouldn’t like a chocolate”

And boy are the Canarians loud, I don’t think I would have managed if Mr. C hadn’t brought me a daily supply of tea and biscuits. When the Canarians got too much for us we just wheeled Baby C about the corridors.

After three days of this I was very pleased to come home to the peace and quite of a new born baby.