How to watch the olympics

This week we finally got around to buying a coaxial cable and now have tv again, just Spanish and Canarian terrestrial but tv none the less. Just in time for the olympics.

Now I know that Sonnjea over in Koji's Kitchen isn't a big fan of the olympics and I can see her point, but when you only have four or so channels to choose from and 90% of the non-olympic programming is dire then you do appreciate the efforts of the ladies and gentlemen in China.

In the last few days of watching I think that the events might need re-classifying.
I propose the following categories, which are non-exclusive.

• "who goes fastest" - this includes track, cycling, sailing, you're standard first past the post stuff.
• "pretty ladies in sparkly and/or teeny costumes" - synchronised swimming, beach volleyball, rhythmic gymnastics (this classification also doubles as "something to please the blokes")
• "events with high likelyhood of accidents" - anything with equipment and/or animals, so gymnastics, things with horses, sailing
• "Men in tights" - greco roman wresting, weightlifting, gymnastics again
• "Is that a sport?" symchronised swimming, rhythmic gymnastics and BMXing anyone
• And finally, the most important category, "things we are likely to win a medal in" so for Team GB that would be sailing, rowing, cycling

The beauty of this system is that one sport can be in many categories. So rythmic gymnastics, which you can see is very tricky but really is it a sport? But oooh look at the pretty ladies in the sparkly costume and pointy toes, aren't they bendy!

Essentially the more classifications that a sport can be in the more likely I am to enjoy it. By this reasoning I have to say the winter olympics are really outstanding. Couples figure skating - sparkly costume, high likelyhood of falling over and for a time in the mid 80s a high likelyhood of GB winning a medal - what's not to love?

I have also discovered that not understanding the commentary has it's benefits too. It means you can focus on the important things. Have you seen the Jamaican ladies athletics outfit? It has the cutest buttons on it, whereas if you look at the track singlets for the USA they seem to have a little flash going over the shoulders that is reminicent of a superhero cape.

And is anyone else suspicious that China, the hosts, are leading the gold medals?